Books That Help

As part of my work with clients, I recommend certain readings to expand your perspective. This allows you to speed up your therapy/counseling and learn new ways of looking at your situation. It also can give you ideas about strategies that will work in your life. I am always adding to this list. Books can be obtained in our amazing Florida library system or ordered on line. For people interested in reduced prices, the website has a master listing of used books for sale.

Here is a current list of readings I recommend:

Books on Depression and CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy):

David Burns, MD Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy This is a classic that talks about how our thinking creates our feelings. It outlines the basics of cognitive behavioral therapy. It identifies common thinking errors and introduces the “Daily Thought Record” to show people the steps to change their thinking. The thing to remember is that feelings are not reality. They are just feelings. They are part of reality, not the definition of reality. I find that when people understand this book and apply the strategies, hope begins to return. Ruminations give way to productive thinking.

Mathew McKay, Ph.D. Martha Davis, Ph.D., Patrick Fanning, Ph.D. Thoughts and Feelings, 4th Edition Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life. This is a workbook for Relaxation, Worry Control, Coping with Panic, Ending Depression, Getting Mobilized, Observing and Letting Go of Thoughts, changing Habits, Overcoming Phobias, Problem Solving, Changing Limited Thinking, Stress Inoculation, Testing Core Beliefs, Controlling Anger, Healing Your Past Mindfulness.

Dennis Greenberger, Ph.D., Christine A Padesky, Ph.D. Mind Over Mood, Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think. This is an excellent Workbook that goes into great depth about CBT. It also has sections on Understanding Depression, Anxiety, Guil t and Shame

Books on the Military Experience:

Charles w Hoge, MD Colonel(Ret), US Army. Once a Warrior Always a Warrior, Navigating the Transition from Combat to Home, Including Combat Stress, PTSD. and mTBI. This is a well-written book for warriors and those who love them. Dr. Hoge makes it clear that “Everything that is a ‘symptom’ of PTSD is an adaptive and beneficial response when there is a threat to your personal welfare or that of others, and the persistence of these reactions is the body’s effort to ensure that you’re immediately ready if the danger occurs again” p 35. He describes ways of navigating these complex responses so that the warrior reduces the interference with the life he/she wants to have.


Books on Marriage and Affairs:

John Gottman, Ph.D., Nan Silver The Seven Principles For Make Marriage Work. Gottman has done extensive research on what makes marriages happy. He and his team have extrapolated 7 principles and created exercises and games for couples to play with each other.

John Gottman, PH.D. What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal. This book described the 22 step process of turning away from your spouse to an affair partner. It also has strategies for preserving a relationship.

Douglas K Snyder, Ph.D. , Donald H. Baucom, Ph.D., Kristina Coop Gordon, Ph.D. Getting Past the Affair, A Program to Help You Cope, Heal and Move On – Together or Apart. This is a very wise and insightful book with practical suggestions for dealing with the shock of discovering an affair, talking to the partner without making things worse, setting new boundaries to restore trust, understanding what went wrong and why. Well written.

Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. Not “Just Friends”, Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. This is a classic. Excellent.

Books on Attachment Styles and Co-dependency

Melody Beattie, Co-dependent No More. Another classic that introduces you to the concept of living your life for others such that you have nothing left. It talks about recovering your life and setting boundaries.

Pia Mellody, Facing Co-Dependence

Pia Mellody, Facing Love Addiction.

Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. This is a practical book for couples to understand emotional aspects of their relationship. Sue is the creator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. She explains what happens when relationships get derailed and it feels like a Tsunami of emotional chaos has taken over. She has practical strategies in the form of conversations. There are also in-person workshops with this title that couples can attend throughout the world.


Books on Living with Bipolar

David Miklowitz, Ph.D. The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, What You And Your Family Need To Know

Books on Sexuality:

Emily Nagoski Ph.D. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, 2015. This is a book that dispels a lot of myths and teaches women to have compassion for themselves.

Paul Joannkdes, Psy.D and Daerick Gross. The Guide to Getting It On, 9th Edition, 2015 A Book about the Wonders of Sex. This is an amazing compilation of accurate sexual information. It is written in a warm, witty and practical style. If you are going to own one book, this is it. Also available on Kindle for 9.99.

Bernie Zibergeld, The New Male SexualityThis is a classic.

Joe Kort (Author), Alexander P. Morgan (Contributor) Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi? A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men 2014. This is a well-written book that gives the guidelines that Dr. Kort uses to distinguish a man whose sexual identity is gay from men who have sex with men for other reasons. It has a good discussion about pornography.

Joe Kort PhD. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives,2nd Ed. 2016

Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson. Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-Term Love, 2014

David Schnarch, Ph.D. Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive In Committed Relationships. Although this book is written by a sex and marital therapist and he speaks of having “wall socket sex”, I see its value in its view of marriage. He says that every marriage will become gridlocked as marriage is a “people growing machine”. He introduces the concepts of self-soothing and differentiation. It is a very powerful book that has lessons for every relationship, even those between parent and child, friends, siblings. Its message is about holding on to yourself in a relationship.

Laura Berman, Ph.D. Loving Sex, The Book of Joy and Passion This is one of the most extraordinarily beautiful books. It has an amazing amount of factual information and very practical suggestions for couples. It is a large book that covers a variety of issues.

Michael Krychman,MD, Susan Kellogg Spadt Ph.D., CRNP, Sandra Finestone, PsyD 100 Questions and Answers About Breast Cancer Sensuality, Sexuality and Intimacy

Sally Kidd, Ph.D. and Dana Rowett Intimacy After Cancer, A Woman’s Guide This book is written by a breast cancer survivor, Sally Kidd, and a medical writer, Dana Rowett. It is immensely practical, hopeful and realistic.

Leslie Schover, Ph.D., Sexuality and Fertility After Cancer This book is written by a treating therapist at the Cleveland clinic and covers issues for men and women who are living with cancer. She also deals effectively with the issue of fertility after cancer. It is research based, well written, very practical.


Books for Families of People with Borderline Personality Traits/Disorder:

Randi Kreger and Paul Mason Stop Walking on Eggshells; Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder This is a classic. It explains borderline personality behaviors, identifies the felt experience of living with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and gives practical strategies for controlling your own life. Very empowering.

Books on Postpartum Depression:

Linda Sebastian, ARNP, Overcoming Postpartum Depression and Anxiety – new updated edition coming out in the fall. This is one of the most practical books on coping with postpartum depression. New Revised Edition due in September 2016.


Books on Obsessions and Compulsions:

Edna B Foa, Ph.D. and Reid Wilson, Ph.D., S.T.O.P. Obsessing. How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions. This is one of the best books there is about OCD. Very Simple and Practical, Researched Based.

Other Books of Interest:

Allison Bottke Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: 6 steps to Hope And Healing For Struggling Parents

Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW The Gifts of Imperfection, Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

Melody Beattie, The Grief Club, The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change. In this book, Melody talks about the death of her teenage son and shares lessons learned. Each chapter in the book is about a different kind of loss. It is an easy read. She tells many stories of people she has met. She shares what worked for them and she includes many valuable resources. Each chapter has practical suggestions for self-exploration related to the topic – a very simple, powerful and moving book.

Harriet Learner, Ph.D. The Dance of Anger, A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships. This book is a classic

Michael J. Bradley, Ph.D. Yes, Your Teen is Crazy. Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind. This a well written, poignant, humorous book written by a therapist who devotes himself to an adolescent practice. He is also a father and draws heavily from his own life experiences.

Books for Coping With the End of a Relationship:

Susan J Elliott, Getting Past Your Breakup_ This is a very practical book on strategies to grieve and move on in your life.