Below you'll find a list of all posts from February, 2018
Suffering in Life is Caused Not By The Actual Event or Illness but By The Resistance to What Is.In Eastern philosophy one can find teachings that say that suffering in life is caused not by the actual event or illness but by the resistance to what is. This wisdom aligns with what Victor Frankl learned in the concentration camps. The …
Is your relationship suffering from a lack of attention? A lack of time? How about using the time you have differently?Many people take their relationships for granted. Most couples are so busy with work and family responsibilities that they don’t feel they have any more time for their relationship. When they come together at the end of the day, they …
Affairs happen to good people. Life is messy.Both spouses together created the disequilibrium in the marriage that made the marriage vulnerable to the affair. The betrayed partner is never to blame for the affair. Gottman talks about a 22 step cascade towards betrayal ( Gottman Rusbult-Glass). This is a series of small steps where the spouse turns away from the partner. Communication …
The Secret to Love That Lasts“The 5 Love Languages, The Secret to Love” That Lasts is a great little book that makes the case that feeling and knowing that one is loved depends on our partner’s ability to speak our love language. It is truly possible to be deeply loved but not to feel loved. Certain actions are much more …
40 Years of Studies and Practice Bring Couples CloserPeg Walsh employs the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. She is listed on the Gottman Referral Network.This way of working with couples is dyadic, meaning that much of the therapy occurs in conversations between the couple. These conversations are structured and coached by the therapist. The goal is to help partners increase their …
THERAPIST SHOULD NOT CHOOSE SIDESRecently I have had several couples come to see me after seeing other therapists. They were looking for someone who would not harshly judge one partner. Initially, when some couples come to therapy they do indeed want the therapist to validate them and to tell their partner that they are wrong. They want the therapist to …
You are in survival mode and ready to protect yourself.Relationship IssuesFlooding is an emotional storm that happens in relationships when your partner triggers a primal feeling of danger. The arrival of these storms is often a surprise to one or both partners. When your perceptions are dangerously alarmed, you flood with a mix of powerful emotions. The sympathetic nervous system …
When you have a loss, you grieve.Differences between Depression and GriefGrief is different for everyone and there is no right way to grieve and no appropriate time frame. Grief is often associated with loss of an important person in your life but you can also grieve for anyone with whom you have had a connection – a friend, a pet, …
First of all, give up any story that you’re telling yourself that finding a lover/partner/companion will not happen for you. People immobilize themselves by telling themselves negative stories that they are too old, too fat, too boring, too etc.. They tell themselves they are unlovable because of some very real events that have crushed their confidence in new possibilities or …